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Reviews: Film and Book reviews

Thu 2 Sep, 2010
By Robert Ingham

people would rather go see Kelly Brook in a bikini rather than Tiffany in a labcoat.

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Mega Piranha

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Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water… Whilst we wait for a possible remake of Jaws, we are offered this tongue-in-cheek film about what lurks beneath the waterline from production house Asylum.

Mega Piranha really shouldn’t need any introduction. It does exactly what it says on the tin. Set on the Orinoco River in Venezuela, a strain of genetically modified piranhas have been tested on by top scientist Sarah Monroe, played by 80s pop sensation Tiffany, and her team.

Unfortunately, as with all movies like this one, they escape from their entrapment and make their way downstream, with a view to swimming out to sea.

However, due to their new genetic make-up, they just don’t stay the same size, and grow at astonishing rates until they become Mega Piranhas. It then becomes a race against time to destroy this breed before they make it to the ocean, where they will continue to grow and take over the world. With a gung-ho commander who has a grudge against the hero Jason Fitch (played by a very muscled-up Paul Logan) leading the attack from the army, it’s obvious the munching won’t stop at the civilians.

What can be said about this film? To be absolutely honest, it is mind-numbingly fun. The special effects aren’t very good, the plot flimsy and the acting more wooden than a rolling pin, Which makes me begin to wonder if this is exactly what the makers were intending?

Asylum brought out the truly awful Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus the previous year and it seems they have a real taste for taking sea creatures and imagining what it would be like it they were colossal. Alas, sometimes an imagination needs to capped.

Fortunately though, I enjoyed Mega Piranha more than MSvGO, mainly because it was so outrageously over-the-top with these mammoth snappy fish launching themselves out of the river and into buildings whilst chomping through the extras. If you’ve ever seen Jaws 3, the scene where the shark is trying to get into the observation tower at the end is reminiscent of these flying creatures that are so desperate to wreak as much havoc as possible, regardless if they live or die.

There seems to be a surge of films about these deadly fish and I’m sure the contest between MP and Piranha 3D will be considered to many as over, partly because people would rather go see Kelly Brook in a bikini rather than Tiffany in a labcoat. However, if you have nothing better to do and you’re bored at home then take a look at this Ed Wood-wannabe flick and judge for yourself.

Mega Piranha is by Asylum Pictures and is on general release now.


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